Dawn
by Howling For it
Summary: An alternative interpretation of the mountain incident in Sense8, starring Riley.


_Riley…_ Two, three steps forward. She can't hear the voice, can't feel the specter's fingers grasping at her back. She's not even aware of his presence, aware of nothing but the calm litany of steps. Two, three forward. It's a lie, but it's the only lie that keeps her sane. He is back there, she knows. Trailing behind her, something more than, something greater than a memory. Something greater than her, almost, a hollowed-out shell, cold and thin, rent in twain by his sudden passing. The only thing that keeps her moving, the only reason to ignore Magnus' constant calls, is wrapped in her arms. Luna, moonlight. The only shining thing in this gray, snow-filled world she now occupies. Her baby, her beloved, terrifyingly cold baby, liquid nitrogen wrapped in her arms. Two, three steps forward.

She isn't going anywhere. That's an implicitly clear fact, another one of those ugly thoughts that she forces herself to avoid thinking about. There isn't really much of anything that is safe to think about, if she's being entirely honest. Everything important to her, there one moment, gone the next, and nothing to fill that aching void. No distractions, no reflections. Just her, _Riley,_ trapped in a frigid hellscape that seemed to grow increasingly small. Her thoughts her only company, and each of the thoughts was a trap, an ever widening hole that she found herself wanting to fall in. Riley didn't want to be Riley anymore. She wanted to be nothing, to be consumed, the hollowness swallowing her up and leaving her at peace. But… Luna. Two, three steps forward.

The thoughts cease, for a little while. Magnus' specter still grasps, but Riley finds herself establishing something approaching a rhythm. Not comfortable, not easy, but it workss, a way to continue. The crunching of snow, the numbing of her limbs, the emergence of the sun combining to give her what Riley considers a temporary peace. Mindless, steady movement. Mindless is good. Mindless is safe. She crests a peak, and for a moment Riley can even appreciate the beauty of the mountains, the resplendence of Iceland in the emerging sunlight.

Something is wrong. The faint breaths, the wriggling in her arms. There's nothing. Stillness, absolute, reflected in the landscape as what seems to be a sudden and inescapable hush. Luna… Riley falls to her knees, cradling the child, crooning to it, gasping in agony as tears finally slide down her aching face. Magnus stands in front of her now, silent for once. His desires are obvious. For a moment, Riley lets herself believe that she'll accept, that she'll just collapse on the ground and be consumed. It would be so easy, now. Maybe too easy. Luna, and, Magnus, the _real_ Magnus would want her to keep going, to cling to hope. Even when it seemed so dark, so cold, and she was so weak. Weak, and… hungry.

Her eyes drop to Luna's unmoving form, every atom of her being screaming in pain at the sight of her stillness. There was, though… there was a way to keep her. Or part of her, at least. Maintain, get the sustenance she needed to keep moving, and never, ever, let Luna go. She'll do it.

Wordless, she sets Luna down. She's weak, now, hardly able to move, even, but the baby is weaker, flesh and bone still unhardened from the realities of her painful world. The flesh tears away easily in her teeth, crimson bubbling where her teeth touch. It's… sumptuous, and more than that, it's Lina, entering her. She chews, savoring the taste, the chill and then sudden warmth that fills her breast. Another tear, another swallow. The bone snaps easily, brittle as the cold has made it, and she begins to laboriously chow down on the meat, suckling it much as Luna might someday have suckled her teats. She moved on, renewed energy granting her a speed and voracity she had not known she possessed. Little by little, Luna became one with her, entered the very core of Riley's being. Little by little, she was no longer alone. Even in death, even surrounded by death, there was still hope for her.

Her, and luna within, watched the sun rise together.


End file.
